Women's Minstry with Debbie Ohman

Debbie Ohman shared with us some important information about being part of a women's ministry in a church that your husband is a pastor in.

Verses she shared:
Titus 2:3-5
³ Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. ⁴ Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, ⁵ to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Galatians 6:2
Carry each others burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Colossians 3:12-14
¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Why is women's ministry important?
The needed input from each other: women can just as easily destroy the church as they could be the life and heartbeat of the church.
They process information differently than men do.
Women need community.

Who are the women we minister to?
"Fringe" women- those who tend to be loners
Should start at 4-6 year old girls- every woman
Ask the question: Who are the women and are they being served?
Remember that you need to be ministered to as well: have a garbage can outside the church.

What exactly is it?
Teaching/study groups
Mentoring/discipling
Support-type groups: MOPS, divorced, widowed
Mission focus
Social times: pizza parties with the young girls

How do we start/run a women's ministry?
Three key questions to ask: What do you have time for? (Where are you at in your life?) What do you have a passion for? What are you skilled with (Spiritual gifts, personality types)

Evaluate from the outside whether or not the current ministry is working, why they are doing that ministry, and what they need in the ministry.

From there:

1. Look at what it takes to start the ministry.
2. Pray: Is this what You want? Is this for me?
3. Meet with the people in charge: pastor, current leaders, etc.
4. Develop solutions for needs before starting ministry

Running the ministry:

1. Make sure the right person is in the leadership role to avoid burn out.
2. Don't allow slander or gossip to ruin the ministry.
3. Deal with conflict directly.

• Talk one-on-one first
• Third party-someone that is truly neutral, if necessary
• Agree to disagree
• Work on forgiveness
• Pray for the other person

4. Always be looking for a future leader.
You don't know where God is going to call you next. Start by asking "fringe" people to do small tasks. They might rise to be your future leaders.



Overall lesson for the night: Be expectant for what God is going to do.

Learning about Living as a Missionary

Nancy Peugh:

Germany 1969-1989

Shared with us some of the realities about living in another country and shared some important family values to keep in mind no matter where you are in life.

Some of the hardest parts:
1. Learning the language- she even noted that she questioned whether God had provided the right husband, one that had been called into mission work, and really struggled learning a new language.
2. Leaving family- at that point worldwide communication was not what it is now, though it is still hard with time differences.
3. School system- Rough on the kids because they were American. She shared how it was hard to watch the kids being made fun of and even ridiculed because they were American.
4. Waiting for teammates- Nancy shared that they were alone for 7 years before their first teammates showed up in Germany. (Most likely not the case anymore)

Some positive things:
1. Knowing that you are prayed for- feeling the difference and hearing the stories shared about people praying for you. Great testament to the power of our God.
2. School system- kids were home for a lunch break everyday, which allowed for family meals together. She gives credit to that as a time to pour into her children who are still following Christ today.
3. Family building- Leaned a lot on each other and created a unique bond because they were the only ones they knew.

Questions answered:
Was it harder to adjust to Germany or back the the U.S.?
It was harder to mentally adjust back to the U.S. because you think of it as home, but things change more than you realize they will.

How did you adjust your attitude to the situation you were in?
I looked for things to be thankful for rather than dwelling on the things that I didn't like. I just reached out to others because they may need you more than you know. You just don't know how you will be able to touch others around you despite your situation. Just Pray. Know that time will pass by faster than you know.

How did you enjoy fellowship?
We spent a lot of time trying to make contact with the people around us. We also enjoyed a lot of time together and especially with the Lord.

If you did it over again, what things would you change?
Work on passing on our vision and develop the new leaders differently so they will continue your work. Would have been stubborn about getting them devoted and to see the vision for the ministry.


Emily Tellez

Born in Peru; Lived in Colombia until 18 years old

You will have to ask Emily for the story about how her parents ended up together as well as in a ministry in Colombia.

She shared some excellent advice for raising children (being a child) in a foreign country.

1. Build a healthy perspective of the culture that you live in as well as the culture that you are from in your kids. They will automatically know they culture they were raised in well, but they need to know where they came from too, so that when they return they can have a better image of it.
2. Families, especially parents, have a lot of responsibility to their kids, not just the ministry. Studies show that adult MK's tend to be depressed and have a low self-esteem when they arrive back in their home country. The culture is completely different, so it is the parent's responsibility to pour into their children and teach them about the culture they come from.
3. Remember that your children will most likely consider that country their home. Emily talked about how hard it was for her to adjust to living in the U.S. because she had only known Colombia. She also shared how her father didn't want her to take roles in the Colombian youth group because they needed to do it. She felt like it was her youth group too and wanted to take a part in it.
4. She was glad that her father truly believed that they were all called into the ministry. He stayed connected to his family and asked them for their thoughts because he felt like they were filled with wisdom as well.

What should parents do differently?
Just know that there is no saving your kids from the trauma of adjustment. Know that you are always save in God's will no matter where you are. Nancy added that it doesn't matter where you grow up there is always struggle. People won't always get along and you might not always be accepted.



Overall reminder from the night: God doesn't call the equipped--he equips the called.

Upcoming Event!

Please check out our Events page to see the information on our Families in Ministries Panel coming up on Friday, April 1st, at 7:00 pm.

Books

On the 8th of March Jessie and Kristen introduced us to some of their favorite books that related to motherhood and women's ministry. Here are some of the books that they mentioned:

*Creating the Mom's Group You've Been Looking For - Jill Savage

*Women Helping Women - (Ask Jessie for the author)

*Motherhood: The Guilt That Keeps on Giving - Julie Ann Barnhill

*Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This - Jenn Doucette

*Women and the Church - Lucy Mayberry-Foster

*The Mom I Want to Be - T. Suzanne Eller

*Spiritual Mothering - Susan Hunt

*Why Men Hate Going to Church - (Ask Jessie for the author)

If there were any books that you would like to add to this list e-mail me @ seminarywives@grace.edu

Pastor's Wife with Gail Park and Christine French

On Feb. 22nd we had the privilege of hearing from Gail Park and Christine French. They came and shared with us about their experiences as pastor's wives. Here are some of the great bits of truth that they were able to share with us.

*Get organized - In your own routine and in your family. Ministry will NOT be routine and it will be an amazing gift to your husband and children if you are able to give your family stability in other areas.

*Plan ahead - Keep that front room clean, just in case someone drops in (which will happen a lot!). Put a meal in the crock pot for any guests that you could have after church on Sunday.

*Don't be a hypocrite - Make sure that you are spending time in devotions and that you are depending on God for leadership so that you can counsel others to do the same.

*Be able to say "no" - You will be asked to do things you are not gifted at or that you do not have the time for. That is okay. Raising your children and caring for your husband are ministries in and of themselves.

*Know where you stand - From abuse and divorce to depression know what your beliefs are so that you can adequately counsel or give information and advice.

*Don't complain - Never undermine your husband to others in the church, they look to him as a leader and teacher and need to be able to trust his abilities.